英國導演 Terence Davies 單身獨居四十多年，我的好友稱他是「獨身偶像」（celibate icon）。聽聞他突來的死訊，是今年讓人心痛的時刻之一。我沒有宗教信仰，但他的電影，或可成為我暫時駐足的教堂。
在三分鐘短片《Passing Time》中，他朗讀一首寫給已逝手足的情詩，動人無比。讀完詩，你能聽見他翻過書頁的聲音。
“If the brain is to stay healthy, it must remain active, wondering, playing, exploring, and experimenting right to the end.”
最初，是幾年前閱讀 Bill Hayes 《不眠之城》，認識了他的老愛人 Oliver Sacks。本書是他生前最後出版的文集，書寫他熱愛的大小事：習自父親的游泳、科學博物館的啟蒙、鯡魚愛好者的密會、在紐約街頭尋覓蕨類植物⋯⋯。阿比查邦說這本書關於「大腦、感知與記憶」，因此「與電影息息相關」。
“Onstage, I can always be who I really am. Offstage, not so much. I never made sense to anyone, even myself, unless | was singing.” – Rememberings, Sinéad O’Connor
今年最打動我的演唱會電影。多言無益，要直接聽她的表演。
NOVELTY DICEMAKER –
“or maybe it’s the entire world that’s cursed? it’s such a precarious place. nothing ever works out the way you wanted.
“that’s why people like role-playing games. you can be whoever you want to be. you can try again. still, there’s something inherently violent about dice rolls.”
“it’s like every time you cast a dice, something disappear. some alternative ending, or an entirely different world…” she picks up a pair of dice from the table and examine them under the light.
Laura Poitras《所有的美麗與血淚》和 Olivia Laing《藝術的孤獨》帶我遇見這本短篇漫畫。
“dream on little tiny things. dream on or run from the hands that reach for you”